One Trial at a Time

It seems since I moved to Utah, my life is a never ending trial. My health has been up and down, I have had close family members pass away, I have watched my little brother as he struggles through life, I am still living the single life which is not what I pictured at my age; but I have learned to work through these many trials that come my way and when it seems that it just can't get any worse, I get hit with something else. I was laid off a week ago at Close To My Heart. I have really enjoyed the 3 years 4 months I worked with this company. It has been a great company and I really enjoyed those whom I worked with. They called me in and losing my job wasn't even something that ran through my mind. I was shocked. In fact, it took me a minute to be able to even respond and it has taken a good week for it to even sink in. I sobbed the entire way home, thinking "what am I going to do? What happens now?" It is still a little weird not working full days and I have stressed quite a bit in the past week. I have wondered "how will I keep up on all my bills" (car, insurance, and my multiple health bills). I will no longer have my health benefits. I have searched for a new job, but to be honest, there just isn't much out there.
I am lucky to have coaching gymnastics as a back up, but I do not have a set schedule bc they finalized the fall schedule the week before I was layed off. I am currently on the sub list and so far I have been able to get a few hours here and there. But it has been a struggle bc I make quite a bit less then I did working for CTMH.
I do know that everything happens for a reason and we are only given trials to make us stronger.

"...Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain." 2 Nephi 2:2

"My [daughter], peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;" D&C 121:7

A small moment? To me, 9 years is NOT a small moment. I have dealt with undiagnosed stomach problems for 9 years. I have had reoccurring symptoms from my dangerous fall 2 1/2 years ago, my family has juggled from house to house since we moved here...makes me wonder, how small is this moment, the moment of not having a steady job? I guess Heavenly Father's timing is very different from what we know and I guess when you think about it, 9 years is a small moment compared to eternity. I know Heavenly Father knows exactly what I am going through and I also know I can get through this bc he knows my potential. He won't give me a trial which He knows I wouldn't be able to handle.I look at Joseph Smith, who is one of my greatest heroes. He endured so much throughout his whole life and he never gave up. He stood tall for what he knew was right and didn't let anyone change his mind. Everyone is going through their own trials...everyone is dealing with something.

"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days." D&C 24:8

Patience: I am pretty sure this is one of the hardest things for me. I don't know why it is such a hard thing, but I believe this is one thing I am supposed to be learning...I am pretty sure this is something that goes along with all my trials. Maybe that's why I have had one thing right after another. Patience Sarah patience!

"...for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day." Alma 36:3

I do trust in God. I know that as long as I keep the commandments and continue living righteously, the spirit will guide me and let me know what to do next. We can't see the entire picture, which may make life hard at times, but we must put our full trust in the Lord and have faith in Him. Things will work out the way they are supposed to, as long as we listen and follow those promptings that come our way.

"And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came unto them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me: and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their
afflictions." Mosiah 24:13-14

I know without a doubt that the Lord is with me every step of the way. It seems my trials are never-ending, one thing after another, but I have grown stronger as a person and I have learned to never Ever give up. When I look back at everything that has come my way, I think “wow, I really have been through a lot!” But if I take each trial individually, it makes it a lot easier and I know that Heavenly Father hears all my prayers, I can feel him near as I speak to Him. I will get through this, it may not be easy, but it will definitely be worth it!

-Peanut