Nephi - My Hero

I recently started reading the Book of Mormon again. Many times in the past, I have finished in a self-committed time period. For example, I have successfully completed March Madness (read 531 pages in 31 days) three times and have loved it every time. The feeling of joy after such a great accomplishment at the end is amazing. But, this time I wanted to try a different take on reading this amazing book. Instead I wish to pay better attention to the little detail, seeing the characters as REAL people in REAL life events. I know this book to be true and I know all it's miraculous events occurred. But sometimes I feel like I am reading just to read, or only to find answers and inspiration. This time however, I hope to better understand the emotions of each character and what they might have been feeling. I believe that if I do this, I will better be able to relate the Book of Mormon stories to my own life and in turn, find answers more easily.
So, with that being said, I am still in 1 Nephi. But I am growing an even greater love for Nephi and his amazing courage! He is so obedient and never gives up. Time after time he is put through trials that seem much greater then my own. He was commanded to retrieve the brass plates from the wicked King Laban and he did it even with his brothers complaining and bullying him, after the third try, they had them in their hands and returned to their father, Lehi, in the wilderness. He was commanded to build a boat, without an instruction manual, without the knowledge of what he was even doing. He broke his bow and after hearing his entire family, including his father, complain and putting blame to him, he made a new one. I mean, Nephi never failed to give up. He showed great persistence, courage, and immense faith in the Lord. He is truly my hero!
I look at my life and see the many trials that have come my way. Trials in health, trials in jobs & bills, trials in my family, trial after trial, it seems to never end. I must say, my faith has grown immensely and I have learned to have a good attitude even through the worst of it. I try to keep a smile on my face and spread happy cheer to those around me. (One of the counselors in the bishopric of my ward told me the other day, "You know what I love about Sarah? She always has a bright smile on her face."). No, it is not easy, and I sometimes I wonder how I get through it all, but this I do know - because of my trials, I have received experience, through experience, I learn wisdom and I DO KNOW that if you try to look at the happy pieces of your life, keeping your chin high and count your many blessings, then life is so much better. If you put your trust in the Lord and have faith that everything will work out, it will :)

Let me share my most recent experiences regarding my health:
The past few months I have had new symptoms along with the old increasingly become worse, I have seen new specialists, and I have bounced from doctor to doctor with no answers. I have lost a large amount of weight, I have dealt with really bad cramping/pain in various parts of my abdomen, back, & chest, I am completely exhausted all the time, and I have had multiple bowel issues. I will spare you the details, but basically I have felt pretty crappy and nobody knows what to do for me.
Last week, I worked Monday and then things quickly shot down hill. I had been creeping down the hill since the previous week and all the weight I finally put back on, I lost again. Tuesday, I felt crappy, and Wednesday morning, my mom rushed me to the ER. After 4 pokes, they finally got an IV going with fluids and meds. The doctor contacted my GI doctor who immediatly scheduled a Colonoscopy and Endoscopy for Friday. Once I was hydrated and my pain was down to a 5, they sent me home. Then, Friday, came along and I headed in for my procedure. They took me back (after 3 more pokes trying to get an IV) hooked me up to the monitors & draped 2 warm blankets over the top of me. While I laid there, waiting for Dr. Hemmert, I had lots of thoughts running through my head. I thought about how grateful I am for such a wonderful family and great friends who are here to support me. I thought about the gospel I have in my life and how blessed we are that we can go to our Heavenly Father anytime, to talk. I thought about how far we have come in the medical field and the amazing technology that is used. And how lucky I am to live in a place where it is available. No, they still haven't figured out my complicated body, but at least they have the equipment and knowledge to try and make me feel comfortable. Then I thought about Lehi, in 1 Nephi, who built an alter, and knelt down in gratitude to the Lord for his blessings. This was after 3 days of journeying into the wilderness with no knowledge of where he was taking his family. He was just doing all he could to obey the Lord's commandments. As much as I want answers, I know that it must be in the Lord's time. My doctor walked in, leaned against the side of my bed and I turned to meet his eyes, and smiled. He looked at me with concern and said "you gave me a smile". My reply, "Well, I have to do something to keep my spirits up through all of this", then he said "Sarah, you are a sweetheart". I think Dr. Hemmert is as frustrated as I am. He wants to figure this out so badly and I can see that it hurts him, the pain that I am going through as his patient. He is more then just a doctor, he shows great concern for not only my health, but my life as a whole. I will be sad to see him retire come August.

I am exhausted. I am frustrated. I hurt. But, these things can't keep me from living life. There is too much I want to accomplish. I want finish school. I want to find my eternal companion and be a mother. I want to be an athletic trainer. I want to swim with dolphins. I want to make a difference in someone elses life. I want ride on horseback along a paradise beach. I WILL be successful in life and if going through trials along the way is the only way that can happen, I will endure. I love my Heavenly Father and I know he loves me. He knows I can get through this, I just have to have faith and trust that it will all be ok. So, I will keep a smile on my face and move forward in life with courage and strength.
Thank you Nephi! I hope to become more like you with every step of my own journey...
-Peanut